Screaming and Crying...

 As I sit here in my recliner, the sound of baby cries fills my head. I can't ignore the sound, I can't concentrate on anything but the sound. Why is it that before you have children you notice a baby's cry because it annoys and irritates you, but then once you are a parent you notice the cry because you know something is wrong and you are the one who has to make everything better. I am a parent but I must honestly say that I do not always feel like I have to fix what is wrong - sometimes it seems as though my baby cries just to cry. Almost as though he knows I am trying to relax (finally) after having a long day, but he doesn't want to allow me the time to relax and enjoy myself.

I start thinking back to what life was like before marriage and kids - it was peaceful, I was full of life, and I didn't feel like I was tied down so to speak. I love my boys and love my husband so please don't take me wrong but I think it's nearly impossible for me on nights like this to not remember what it was like when I was in high school, or even my first couple years in college.

I feel like tonight is my night to ramble so please bear with me. Ten minutes later and baby is still crying. Some people reading this might think, "What is wrong with you? Just go get the baby!" It's so much fun to hold someone else's baby, but it's so tiring to take care of your own. Is that wrong of me to say that? I guess these are just words from a tired and weary mom. My life was sailing along smoothly but the past few weeks have been full of speed bumps and obstacles. Now as I try to enjoy the calm seas for only a moment, the storm still rages in the other room and I can't ignore it (him).